Don't get Offended

Many times I come across individuals who put the blame where the blame shouldn't have been put.

Having a son with disabilities you have to figure where to put the blame or suck it up and admit maybe it could have been prevented...so does that mean your fault?  I'm not going to say.

People tend to say, "well my child is acting that way because of (insert their disability)." Really? For me I could never do this.  Even though J isn't an "offical" (baptized) member of our church, we still hold him accountable for his actions.  Whether he remembers what he did 10 minutes later, is still in mystery.  When J has hit/bite/torn 2 to 3 shirts/ punched doors/broken doors/broken bathroom tiles...are you getting the picture...I've never said or will ever say, it's because he is Autistic and Mentally Disabled.  Instead, I find out why he did this and try to prevent the next "wig" as we call it here at our home.  

I was talking to a friend of mine and sometimes, not all the time, parents need someone to blame because they don't want the outer world to think less of them.  Who really cares?

Our family has been through almost all situations you can imagine.  

Leaving family events early and different family member wonder why?

Asking for help from church members but being told no because they didn't want anyone to get hurt (this was when J was pretty violent, like we are talking black eye, and leopard type bruises)

Not being able to go on "normal" vacations

Do I blame Autism? No, I blame the different characteristics that make our son unique.

Just because they have a label doesn't mean life will end, it just means there is more opportunity for learning to deal and how to deal with situations when they arise.

We are still constantly teaching J to be nice, not to yell, not to hit.  Does he still do it, YES about 10 minutes later.  Is it because he is autistic? Who the heck knows? I think it's him being honory!

I think of individuals who have children in more server cases then I do and my heart goes out to them and their patience.  I think of those individuals whose children can actually work in a normal class room; read, write, speak, go on dates, participate in special occasions at church, potty trained, can feed them selves, can shower themselves, can sleep (that's a big one in our home), I do envy them, which isn't always a good thing.  The one thing I do know over the 22 years and only knowing my son was special 18 years of that, I won't trade him for anything.  

So if you are having a hard day and your child is whompin' on ya, find the reason (cause you know there is, even if it's a silly reason like the moon or the sun didn't come up on time), then go give them a big squish, tell them (always) that you love them. Then forget about the whompin' and move on.

Oh, and Laugh!