Survivor!

What is a survivor? It is defined as one who lives through affliction….. and survived...Doesn't necessarily mean came out happy, without any wounds or scars...but survived! I have seen many wonderful examples of survivors….but there are other types as well.

There’s another type of survivor, who I admire, but largely goes un-noticed by the world around us. It’s the parents who live day-in and day-out with a special child from our Heavenly Father. They have to adapt, endure, and survive each new day, each new mood, and each obstacle they face. These are the parents whose children aren't able to communicate, or are not able to walk on their own….and survive the days.

The parents who care for their children 24/7, when each hour can be a struggle. The parents whose children aren't capable of being in a "normal" class...so they improvise and read or sing to their children because they know their children won't be able to mentally ever do that.

The parents who find the joys of seeing their "special" children smile on the good days.

The parents who have accepted that they have special children...not children with disabilities.

Survival is tough. It’s not easy. It wasn’t meant to be easy. That’s what I think “opposition in all things” means. Today, we hear of budget cuts to some of the specialized programs and it is heart breaking. But then I have to think....some and it could be a very slight number....of the parents take advantage of these programs and maybe that is why they are being cut. These parents don’t want to be responsible, so they make their problems that are ant hills into a mole hole and give others the “problem child”.

J was diagnosed over 16 years ago. It doesn't matter with what...it matters how we handled it. Saturday, in the YW’s conference, President Uchtdorf said. "In stories, as in life, adversity teaches us things we cannot learn otherwise. Adversity helps to develop a depth of character that comes in no other way." Yes, we went through all the stages.....upset, mad, frustrated, hate the world, why me, what did I do to cause this, cried a lot...then we found humor and joy...it didn't take long to find that. He is our son. He is OUR responsibility!! We didn't have a lot of governmental programs available where we lived...so we had to do things on our own with the help of 2 therapists, and a doctor who listened and didn't force us to do something we didn't want to do. We lived away from family, so that support thankfully was on call 24/7 if I needed to be reminded there was light at the end of the tunnel...to get on my knees and pray...that my Heavenly Father knew what was happening. Maybe thru this, Heavenly Father was teaching me to be more like Him……learning about unconditional love in a daily life!!

We researched every option to give J extra help….to give US extra help! We even collected magazines back in the day when they said there were cures for J. Right! He didn’t qualify for any special programs. We tried diets to help keep him off meds. I never wanted a zombie child so for us, medication was not the answer. When J hit the good ole teenage years, I thought I would die...his "disability" didn't come back (it never left) his puberty hit! Literally! Some people have said that they are harder to handle....DUH! What "NORMAL" teenager isn't...then throw in a couple of disabilities, behaviors...yup...sheer joy!

I'm finding out that some people just don't handle the news of having a child with disabilities, with ease. I think that some might even welcome a deadly disease over the daily struggles of life with a “special” child. All I know is that medicines, institutions, and radical behavior can’t make up for the joy I feel when I see progress in J…The smile on J’s face lights our whole family up. Every night when he says, I love you, and good night…The squishes that he asks for and gives so freely.

So, in a way, I can hold my head up and say that I, too, am a survivor. President Uchtdorf also said: "It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself that determines how your life's story will develop. "I can return to my Heavenly Father and tell him, I did not give up….I did my best!